Kids. For Shelley and me being parents is about the highest calling and greatest blessing you could ever have. Kids are such a riot, and hanging out with them, playing with them, and watching them grow and discover things is like, “WOW!” There is just nothing cooler. So we were really excited about being pregnant and getting ready for our first baby to be born.

Our due date came and our due date went – no baby. So after another week or so they decided to have us come in and induce labor, which is what we did. Now the way that works is that they hook the baby up to a monitor so they can track how it’s doing during labor, then they give the mother a drug called Petosin, which causes her to start having contractions. That’s exactly what they did in our case, and after a short time Shelley was in labor. As time went on and labor progressed there came a point where the monitor showed that the baby was distressed, and they decided to do a Casearean section. Not a huge deal, by the way – that’s why they monitor the baby, so they can make sure they proceed in the best way possible.

They wheeled Shelley into the delivery room, but since C-sections are kind of bloody – and having one patient in there is probably all they really needed – I decided to wait just outside the double doors of the delivery room, which they left open. From there I could talk to Shelley and hear what was going on, and I would get to see the baby right away anyway because they were going to stop and let me look at it as they were taking it to the pediatrician who was waiting in the next room.

Things were getting busy in the delivery room, and as things progressed I was waiting for the telltale sign of the blessed event – the cry of a newborn baby. I never heard that cry. Instead a nurse suddenly rushed past carrying a blanket, out of the delivery room and into the room where the pediatrician was waiting. She didn’t stop and show me the baby. For that matter she didn’t even look at me. What she did instead was rush right past with that blanket and a very serious look on her face. I did not see the baby in that blanket. But I did see a tiny arm hanging out. It was blue. Very blue.

The nurse rushed our unresponsive baby into the room with the pediatrician, and I watched through the window as they worked on it. They put a mask with a bag over the baby’s mouth, and they were pumping that bag trying to get the baby to breathe. They kept trying, but the baby would not breathe or respond in any way. I wasn’t too worried at first because I knew that these people were well-trained and knew exactly what they were doing. But after a couple of minutes and the baby still wasn’t responding, I began to realize that this was not a normal situation. Not even a little. Three minutes had passed and they were still pumping that bag trying to get our baby to breathe. And our baby still wasn’t responding. But they kept going, pumping that bag. Three and a half minutes … then four … then four and a half.

After five minutes they were still pumping that bag, and our baby was still showing no sign of response. In the intensity of the moment each second that ticked by seemed to have a life of its own, capturing complete thoughts and emotions as time slowed down to nearly a standstill. I knew at that point that this baby, our baby, was not going to make it.

I began to pray. And I said, “Lord, you know what I want. You know how much we want this baby, how much we want it to live. But if that is not what you want, if that is not what is best, then I trust you and ask that your will, not mine, be done. I know you love me. And as much as I want this baby, if it is your will that this baby is not to make it, then I pray that you would be with us and help us get through the days to come.”

Then, suddenly, the most incredible peace came over me. It was amazing! It was like it just covered me, all warm and gooey, and about a foot thick. It covered me from head to foot – all around me, and through me. It really was a “peace that passes all understanding,” and I knew for a fact, in my heart, that everything was going to be ok. I knew that whatever was about to happen, that God was in charge. And because He loved me, that, no matter what, He would take care of me. It was truly God intervening right there, right then, on that spot, assuring me that, with Him, we could deal with whatever we were about to go through.